In the land of marketing, polls are big business. They drive site visits, page impressions and, ultimately, advertising rates. They’re also, in a perfect world, fun and entertaining – they spark discussion, friendly rivalry, and a chance for businesses to promote themselves.
That said, each time UG is entered into a poll, I get a pit in my stomach. Try as I might to remain a calm, productive human being, within days I am Tracy Flick.
We all remember Tracy Flick, right? The “wonderfully monstrous,” pathological antagonist in Election. We all have a little Tracy in us, which is what made that movie so good.
My inner Tracy stems from third grade. I decided to run for a seat on the student body council, and though my recollection is fuzzy (buried under years of anguish), I believe I cast my hat in the ring for CLASS PRESIDENT. This was a dubious choice for a girl the entire school had nicknamed “Furfle” (remember that cartoon?) because of my horrific half-grown out perm (why, mother, WHY did you let me get a perm??) and square, gold-rimmed glasses that automatically darkened in the sun and made me look like The Deer Hunter. I was trounced – no, destroyed – in that election, the official end of my political career. I could have been President. Instead I was a Furfle.
I don’t know if TJ ever had experiences like this. I tend to think not. In fact, when TJ moved to Vermont they probably created a student body just so he could be the President of it. Regardless, these polls bring out a little Tracy in him too.
So every time UG is entered into a poll, I determine the same thing. “Wonderful,” I tell myself, with regulated breathing in a meditative mantra,”let the chips fall where they may. We know we have a successful business and that’s all that matters. Kumbaya, Namaste and L’Chaim.” And slowly, slowly, like Smeagol turning into Gollum, my inner Tracy appears.
Yup, there I am. Does this happen to the rest of you? Or do I suffer from a latent competitive gene that will literally some day EAT ME ALIVE?
There are polls we have already decided we will not actively promote (you’ve been spared at least three so far this year), but my inner Tracy cannot rest until we have won the Newton Patch on-line, non-scientific, subject to Editor-review poll for Best Liquor Store in Newton.
Should you be inclined to vote, here is the link: http://ow.ly/amlrO. Will I turn into Tracy Flick and make you all cupcakes? It’s possible, but we’re trying to keep that at bay.
VOTE UG FOR CLASS PRESIDENT!!! I mean, BEST LIQUOR STORE NEWTON!
YOU ARE SO CLEVER. YOU WRITE SO BEAUTIFULLY AND CREATIVELY – I AM ALWAYS IMPRESSED. WHERE DID ALL THAT TALENT COME FROM – CERETAINLY NOT FROM YOUR ME. BY THE WAY, THERE WAS NO TALKING YOU OUT OF THAT HORRIFIC PERM. ANYONE WHO KNOWS YOU CAN ATTEST THAT- WELL, THERE IS NO TALKING YOU OUT OF ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO.
Comment by BRAD MORASH — April 18, 2012 @ 7:36 pm